January 9, 2003

 
 
in the nite
i'm wakened
by the sound
of an incoming tide
water waves hollow sloshing
loopway tones enter my body

the window's propped open
with empty plastic
diet pepsi caffeine free

stars are gone
it's snowing again

good
let it fall down from the sky
endlessly
all winter long

my friend has written me an email
headed

go deep into the woods

in sleep a man long ago that didn't work
his girlfriend's closet lined with shoe after shoe
yesterday a new jersey man links a line drawing of a seahorse
my tatoo
with sexual pathology

in my life..
yes.. i've loved women

we are all capable of anything
or nothing

it's only four a.m.
yet my gray cat husband wants me to get up to get him canned food
the female tiger downstairs is puking

sound rises
falls

in dreams
i've been initiated into a society by the hoof
of a deer ... on my right shoulder blade
with the message - don't be afraid
and another time i've been jolted awake
shooting a deer straight on
in the head

in waking life
a mewling fawn has come to me on a beach
a young spike horn has walked up to me and a cat
conversation style at the edge of a road
after hypnosis in a summer field
deer have circled me
bucks have snorted in darkness thick behind trees
stomped on woods paths toward me.. one, two, three
a leader and i have stood high in dusky silence
eye to eye
energy thick between us
with only the dip of a rock beach between
and from the boat a lingering image of early morning
a solitary buck on the north point
in fall colors
sitting.. bathed in sunshine

all these imprints
they're in me
alive

my island brother accuses me
of not doing my work on a committee
does an architect always pick up the hammer and nails

my work is who i am

they don't really understand
how i've been brought up in a hunting family
how i've eaten the flesh of deer as a child

but these deer
out here
away from shore
they live in a sacred circle
as we do
they are tribe

these last days

in the tarot the hanged man comes
again and again
suddenly i see it
he's hanging by his feet
strung up like a deer
in death

at the final hurrah
is there anything left but surrender
stripped naked
shivering
alone

darkness
illuminated by a strange light
a halo

call it in
white...lavendar...violet
let it pulsate


(the radio alarm comes on
it's the art bell show
a 'father' is speaking of earthquakes
and a prelude
to jesus coming back)


 
  copyright © 2001-2006 by Kat Farrin  
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